Clarity

 If I Gain Clarity I will let You Know

The need to create

 is not always clear

Sometimes what one creates

is not always clear

I have a strong need or desire 

to create

to make things that are not clear 

and that look like no identifiable object or image

I am looking through the abstract

for something I might recognize

Yet I have no idea what I am looking for

It is one of those

I will know it when I find it 

moments

For now I just enjoy the process

and I hope others enjoy the product

I will let you know 

when I gain clarity

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

A Life Principal

I am not buying that

When I was young I played with dirt, rocks, sticks and sand

and I made worlds for my plastic animals and cars to dwell.

It was all called play, but at the time I worked at making the worlds 

a little bit better each time I engaged in the activity.

I think I can say that this is where my passion for building and creating

began: the sandbox.

The computer age was a whole new sandbox or place to play.

I have spent many hours exploring its applications to music, sound,

video and photography. The image above is a combination of two 

photographs. They are colorized, layered, cropped, smeared and had 

different filters added to them. I did this time and time again. The 

thought I keep coming to is, was this work or play? If I ever sell this 

image it becomes labeled as work, because I made a profit. As it lives 

here in the computer world (never having been printed) can it be called 

artwork or is it artplay? Even my computer spell check recognizes the 

word artwork but not artplay. I just added it to my dictionary. I will be 

contacting Mr. Webster. 

My whole struggle is play gets a bad rap. I see play as the foundation 

or starting point of work. You play with something until you build enough 

skill to consider it work. Then the word practice enters in. So maybe the 

life progression is play, practice, work. I guess what I am advocating for 

is a life long continual return to play. I believe it is important for the 

grown-up community to constantly find new experiences of play.

Life principal #(not yet established) - Find new materials to play with 

in a non-competitive manner. An activity that brings you joy with no 

specific result. That is Play.

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

 

How I Understand It

 A Schematic for Adam

Imagine somewhere in time

let's say back at the very beginning

there was an artist studio

That's all there was

and it was filled with piles of drawings and designs

The artist had visions scrawled on every inch of paper

There were even designs for 

visions, scrawling, inches, and paper

and what these things would look like

Everything was thought out

You could say this artist was obsessive

but you couldn't

because you didn't exist yet;

except you did somewhere in that pile of paper

You were in the design

Everything thought out and placed in the piles

Now as I have come to understand it

the artist would often take breaks

leave the studio to dwell in the darkness

to meditate

The artist would close all the windows

leave one candle lit

called the light of love

and close the door    

Now it is not clear if it was a bad candle holder

There were many different designs of candle holders

or maybe the artist closed the door too swiftly

 The light of love started it all

and there was a real big bang when pressure built up in that studio

Yes that artist had also designed the idea of combustion

That's the story as I understand it

I mean as I was designed to understand it

Please don't tell too many people about this

or it could become a conspiracy theory on the internet

I don't want to get this artist in trouble 

or maybe that's part of the design

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

Beauty

I met a flower the other day that asked me if I knew how beautiful I was. I said, Me, beautiful? It's you, flower, you're the beautiful one. I mean, you really caught my eye. Caught your eye, said the flower. I don't even have an eye but I know how beautiful you are. Every time you exhale my whole body absorbs your breath and I am reminded of your beauty. It is the relationship we have that defines your beauty. Beauty is something you offer to another; it is a gift, a moment of awe. The cycle of life that humans and plants share is awesome. It is not a visual thing but is still beautiful. So flowers think you are beautiful! Embrace it and breathe out.

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

In Relationship to the Vastness of the Universe

Undefined form and color

 

can cause the viewer distress

if the viewer requires clear structure 

to move through life.

My intent in creating this 

was not to define anything. 

The process

was to surprise or awaken me

leaving me with time spent 

in a state of play,

following the whims

of the movements of my hand and mind.

Is it art? 

In relationship to the vastness of the universe

the question and the image 

are just fun, to ask and see and to create.

Go out and play in your universe!

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

Tree

This Day

It set you on fire

the light passing through you

jumped into my sight

I raised the camera and grabbed the image

took it with me

took it home

saved the light and the fire

so I would always have it

but I don't really have it

I look at it

it is outside of me

I don't have the light and fire

you had it, tree, in that moment

I got to leave the moment there

with you, tree 

let the moments move through me

and beyond

don't need to take it home

Breath

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

In The Works

My brain is a machine

with a program

that runs constantly

The program is designed 

to keep me alive

The program's definition of alive

is survival

It is all it has ever known

When I ask it to show me true life

it says

it's in the works,

keep moving forward and you will work it out

 Let's think some more

Just keep thinking

You will work it out

Don't stop thinking

cause then you are dead,

just run the program 

It is in the works

I no longer think

this is true life.

jeffkimsey-carroll.com

Okay, Been awhile!

I am 
The burning bush
All of life
The flame
It takes
All my strength
To not
Be consumed...


...Perhaps I should not work so hard.





 "I am the burning bush"
Wood cut 17"x 8" paint and ink

This style of sculpture is a product of play. I do not always enter into their creation with an idea. I actually allow the shapes to tell me what they will become. I cut random shapes, sometimes paint them and then move them around on and among each other until I find their story or relationship. The ink line drawing is to symbolize the complexity, it is a non definable  emotional language. I just like lines and shapes.
 
       Jeff trying to get back to blogging

Whisper

Flowing between every water molecule

Moving down the mountain to the sea,

Lying deep within the folds of every new bloom

Pushing up through the blanket of leaves on the forests floor,

And held fast within the layers of time and energy

From the core to the bark as each tree rises

There are fragments of stars

That whisper to all life

We are here because of a Love

That has no limitation

From a creator who expects from us

Only to pass on the star fragment's secret whisper

“You are loved”

                                                                                                   

 
 
I do not know this to be true

It is only felt to be voiced

For I am not here to know,

But to feel.






Jeff listening
 

Notion #16

There is a point where you stop talking and listen

There is also a point where you stop looking and see

I think it maybe that just past that point is where we begin to feel

At that point there is no turning back

Keep on going


Photo: Acadia  National Park, Maine
A link to my photos of Acadia and Maine
Acadia Photos 2012 
 

Building Dinosaurs Our Way

                     Up under the skeleton of plywood

Every now and then I get to do a project that is outside the box. In other words I am not building a cabinet for someone, I'm building a dinosaur skeleton. Working with Mark Orleans, Exhibit Manager of the Garden State Discovery Museum, I am assisting in building a life size Tyrannosaurs Rex skeleton. We are not creating and exact scientific replica just and artistic representation. I find that in this process to much thought about what we are doing tends to slow us down. This is because thought always calls for precision or exactness where as just going with feeling requires leaps of faith. In other words just give it a try, draw the pelvis bone the way it looks, cut it out, hold it up to the rest of the skeleton and if it looks right you got it, if not try it another way. Now you could argue that if we just made a plan and did all the calculating ahead of time we could save ourselve all that trial and error, but that would requier Mark and I to be different people. You see both of us are tactile hands-on types. We do a quick sketch and start to build. It's just the way we are wired. I am not saying any way is better than the other. I am just saying this is how it works for me. So if you need to plan, do it and if you just want to dive in go for it. Just make sure it's your way or you'll drive yourself nuts.
Jeff Jumping in

To see more picturs of our work follow this Link

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.215938435101527.66130.150455301649841&l=aa62dcab13

Here is a link for the museum http://www.discoverymuseum.com/

the place

I have seen the place

where I am everything.

Where I have no need of a name

to define my being.

For here

I have shed the self

and I am content

to be part of all the moving.

With in a fragment of time

I am but a particle

moved by wind and rain.

In my moment

I will dance and then fall.

The self I worked to be

released.

Somehow here

I am good with this.

----------------------------------------

Took these photos last summer on the north rim of the Grand Canyon. I did not even see the color spectrum until I was home and gazing at the photo. Notice how from the distance forward (in the above Photo) it goes from blue to purple to reds and then the yellow foreground.

I also find humor in writing about surendering individulizm in a blog that defines me as an individual.

Jeff diggin' it all

just notion #8

There is a woman I know.

She comes from the woods,
the deep forest

that gives my soul depth.

I have known her all my life.

She is sister to my insecurity,

lover to my denial,

and mother to my ability to be complete.

Yet I struggle to understand her want.

She asks to go with me out beyond the trees,

into the open.

I take her by the hand

and walk her deeper into the wood.

You are safe here

Among these trees

I tell her.

Out there

together

It would become,

well complicated.

She claims she belongs there

with me.

I start a fire

it gives off heat.

We sit, she moves close.

I fear her more than any-

One,

cause I have kept her here for so long

protecting her,
or me...
--------------------------
This notion comes from a songwriting exercise I do sometimes. If I have an idea for a song I will sometimes just ignore all the metering and rhyming of the poetry and just do a stream of thought. It may be bullets of all the things the song topic makes me think about or often it is this kind of thing where I visualize myself telling someone the story behind the topic, it is an attempt to explain to my self what I am feeling or thinking.
This song is called "The Woman In The Woods". It is the struggle of the individual (okay me) to find the inner balance between the masculine and the feminine and understand the attributes, positive or negative that each possesses. This song idea has lived with me for over 25 years. I may never sing it but at least I have the exercise and pages of fragments. I'm not worried about the music the forest in my head is full of that. Oh and yes to me a song is a song even before it is done or ever performed. Even if no one ever hears it it has still had an effect upon me.
Jeff with song

just notion # 6

I'm not sure
but I might be living your life too
I have all these feelings about you
they make it hard to move around
these feeling are like streamers
trailing behind me
oh they are useful
they lead me back to you
but they also tangle
with all the other lives and feelings
I come across
I am not sure where
I begin or end
I carry and loose feelings
every where
I know I should be more organized
more like you
maybe I am
you
and I am watching me
thinking
he needs to be more in touch
with his feelings.

--------------------------------------------
 Wood cut is from my "swathe" collection
Jeff for now

My First Music Video

Every sky that looks down

On every child waking up

Knows the seasons hold secrets

that they long to give up

Oh Everything

belongs with me

Back on April 16th my post was the lyrics of a new song titled "Everything". It was not until May that I had a chance to record me performing it at the monthly coffeehouse I run. It was a one camera recording that just sat still while I sang. So needless to say the video was very boring by today's standards. With the magic of the computer I was able to zoom in and out on the single shot and added some of my photos to create bizarre motion effects.

Now for the idea behind the lyric. This is simply, okay not that simple, my attempt to stand before the vastness of the universe and all of existence as I am aware of it and claim that I am not a "lost soul swimming in a fish bowl" but that I am where I belong and that life as it is is the way it is to be for the moment. It is about accepting the confusion and that you can seek understanding but you do not need to understand everything. This song is the first song I've created with a new style of writing I have been practicing where I do not attempt to understand how all the parts (individual words, lines and /or verses) fit together. It is about learning to trust my subconscious mind as the writer. I could keep going on and on with all my thoughts on this but just listen to the song and take from it what you will. Embrace your confusion!



To see the lyrics to this song jump back to the April 16th archive. Note - the words at the end that are not on the lyric sheet are just whatever comes to me making each version of the song different each time. This was only the songs second time out so I hope as I have more chances to sing it I'll get a little more confident with it.
Jeff singing

Receiving the Call

Sometimes these little dramas come to me when I am working in the shop. I'll take a risk and throw this one out there. This is one side of a phone conversation with the creator. To all editor people feel free to contact me with any ideas on how to better use punctuation to make this work.
Image Title: I will, one day...



God calls and I answer:

God slow down, slow down
what are you so excited about
What?
Everything?
Oh great, I thought this was going to be a quick call.
I know
it's all terrific
Oh yes I love everything you've done.
Yes I really feel that way
Okay you're right
If you'd left that out I wouldn't have minded
I guess it's the smell
Sure, sure you could have let that go as well.
Well the problem is none of us can agree on how it should be dealt with.
Well it just makes it easier if we can all agree,
all be on the same page so to speak
what do you mean why?
it just seems like it would be easier if all our thinking was the same on the issue.
Yes, Yes I hear what I'm saying.
What?
I know you know me.
What do you mean you know me like the flowers know me?
How the H... I mean how can flowers know me?
I was looking at the flowers on Wednesday
I just haven't had time the last few days.
How are the flowers going to get to know me?
I don't understand.
No, no I guess I don't need to understand.
One more time, tell me.
The flowers need time to get to know me.
Okay
God, God
I, I get it. It's not always about me.
You're right it's the control thing again
I just get afraid, I won't...
You gotta get that?
No, no, I'm, I'm good
I know, I know, you made me that way.
Thanks for the call.
Later.

http://jlcarrollimages.webs.com/apps/photos/album?albumid=8290355

Jeff disconected